The final two original short films in BVLGARI & Tribeca Film Festival’s Female Trailblazers six-part series, produced in partnership by the Roman jewelry label and Tribeca Studios, premiered worldwide this Monday (February 1). Hosted by Emmy, Tony, and Grammy-Award winning actor and two-time Academy-Award nominee Cynthia Erivo, “Lot 448” and “Ezinma” spotlight two “independent female pioneers in the arts who are blazing their own paths in male-dominated fields at a time of great cultural change.”
Ezinma’s eponymous short film, directed by Alison Chernick, chronicles the violinist’s journey forging her own path in one of the toughest industries by fusing classical and contemporary music together. In 2017, Ezinma shared a cover of Future’s “Mask Off” that led to overnight viral fame, and the realization that she had tapped into something people were genuinely interested in. A series of widely popular uploads to her YouTube channel solidified her status as the face of a new crossover genre, and shortly thereafter Ezinma caught the attention of none other than Beyonce herself, granting the Nebraska native an opportunity to perform as part of the singer’s orchestra for Beychella. With newfound determination, Ezinma returned to New York City to work on her own sound. “I’m not a hip hop artist, I’m not a classical artist. I’m working to create this new fusion of music,” says the violinist. “As a person of mixed race, reimagining popular songs with the gloss of high art feels natural to me.”
In her upcoming album, Key of Black Minor, Ezinma showcases her talents as a music producer and violin virtuose. The first two singles “Beethoven Pleads The Fifth” and “Vivaldi Springs Forth” are available now on all digital streaming platforms along with their accompanying music videos. Check out Ezinma’s boundary breaking documentary (14:00 min mark) below:
La Mas Draga, Mexico’s biggest drag competition produced by La Gran Diabla, wrapped their second season by crowning afab queen Alexis 3XL. Following emotional performances by finalists Gvajardo, Alexis 3XL, and Sophia Jimenez, it became apparent that Alexis had won the hearts of the entire audience, those in attendance and those of us watching online. Throughout the competition, Alexis showed us she was “LA MAS (the most)” humble, creative, and lovable queen of the bunch. Her looks and mug were literally always on point and full of surprises, and her interviews always sprinkled the show with that extra chispa we all needed. What makes Alexis 3XL’s win even more significant, is the fact that she is a cisgender woman, and the first one to win a title of this kind and magnitude.
As we know, and despite the major historical contributions made by trans women, the world of drag is largely male-dominated. Alexis revealed on Episode 6, La Mas Independiente, that to this day she still struggles finding acceptance within Mexico’s LGBTQ+ community. Crowning her not only recognizes her talent and charisma, it also sends out a message to the world that drag is for anyone who wants to take part in it, regardless of their gender identity or expression. Week after week, Alexis proved that anything a man can do, a woman can do better. Let’s go over some of her most iconic looks.
Same-sex marriage became legal in Mexico City as of June 2015, but the country at large is still decades behind when it comes to LGBTQ+ acceptance and representation. La Mas Draga, their contestants, and their message, represent a big step in the right direction. The show has exposed Mexican and international audiences to new identities, new forms of artistic expression, and has proven that people are hungry to see more Mexican excellence represented at such a high level. Congratulations to Alexis 3XL on a herstoric win, and thank you to La Mas Draga for giving us this gift. Despite some backlash from the fanbase due to technical difficulties uploading the final episode to YouTube on time, the impact of this show is undeniable, and we can only hope La Gran Diabla chooses to continue creating this magic for many years to come. You better tighten that wig Miss RuPaul, these girls are coming for you and all your children!
You can stream Seasons 1 and 2 of La Mas Draga on YouTube. But before you go, check out these stunning music videos from La Mas Draga’s host Vanessa Claudio and judge Yari Mejia, who provided the soundtrack to this season’s runway.
To celebrate New York City Pride 2017, we curated two events that are sure to give you endless life henny! Get an early start with happy hour at Syndicated Bar (Brooklyn) watching the RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Finale. Then, follow us to SOB’s for our Pride Friday extravaganza featuring CupcakKe! Details below. Hope to see you there!
RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Finale Viewing Party Syndicated Bar, Brooklyn, NY
Hey kitty girl! R U ready to crown your favorite season 9 queen? This finale promises to be unlike any other, and henny you do not want to miss out! Join us at Syndicated Bar (40 Bogart St) on Friday, June 23rd for our final screening, and stick around for live performances by your weekly hosts, Brooklyn’s Drag Queen of the Year nominee, Ragamuffin and Shiny Penny, plus special guest Ms. Ter.
Bring your appetite, the food there is incredible. As always, we’ll be giving away FREE DRINKS during commercials when you answer #DragRace trivia questions correctly.
Pride Friday at SOB’s ft. CupcakKe SOB’s, New York, NY
The Chicago rapper makes a triumphant return to New York City after a sold out U.S. spring tour, performing a headlining set at the historic SOB’s. CupcakKe was recently featured on “Lipgloss,” a track from Charli XCX’s latest mixtape, No. 1 Angel. Before that, CupcakKe achieved viral success with hit songs “Vagina,” “Deepthroat,” and “LGBT.”
Doors 11 PM
DJ sets by DJ jaRaw and P_A_T
$15 Advance Tickets | $20 Day of Show
Join Ragamuffin and co-host Shiny Penny every Friday at Lot 45 Bushwick for our weekly RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 viewing party! Doors open at 7 PM, the previous week’s episode of Untucked starts right at 7:30, and drag shows begin immediately after the screening. *Your $5 donation gets you two tickets to our weekly giveaway and the opportunity to win free booze by answering trivia questions correctly during the screening.
Check out the photos from our latest viewing party below.
Silence! The queen of queens is back back back back back again and snatching wigs with the spanking new title track from her upcoming album, “American.” According to Mama Ru, her new material (available for pre-order on iTunes!) will be Ruleased this Friday, the same day as the grand opening of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9. Gotta love them marketing moves henny! The song serves classic RuPaul bleeps and blops with lyrics that remind us that in the clurb, we all fam. “Everybody came here wantin’ to be free” she says, speaking for the thousands of immigrant lives that are here now and have come before us. “Stand up for yourself, we’ve just begun to fight” she cries, urging us to wake up and join the Ruvolution. Give it a listen below!
RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 is expected to be YUGE. The show has now moved to VH1’s Friday line-up, and Ru won herself an Emmy last year for an outstanding performance as the hostess with the mostesst. If you happen to live in the NYC area, you are hereby cordially invited to our very own premiere viewing party at Lot 45 Bushwick (Doors 7 PM | $5 Cover).
And in other Rulated news, J.J. Abrams is reportedly developing a new dramedy series inspired by RuPaul’s life. We know, we are gagged too. More details can be found via Gay Times UK. EvenMama Ru retweeted it, so it’s probably legit.
The year is 2015 and all the Academy Award acting nominees are white. There is a grand total of one black film running for Best Picture. Any other race or ethnicity isn’t even an after thought. What Hollywood is trying to say with this is very simple. The only stories that matter are stories about white people struggling through something. You know, #whitepeopleproblems and stuff. This is not to say that Stephen Hawking isn’t a badass or that his story isn’t inspirational. What I’m trying to say is something similar to what Ridley Scott recently said when he was questioned about the decision to cast all white people on his movie Exodus, which happens to take place in Egypt, which is in Africa.
“I can’t mount a film of this budget, where I have to rely on tax rebates in Spain, and say that my lead actor is Mohammad so-and-so from such-and-such,” Scott says. “I’m just not going to get it financed. So the question doesn’t even come up.” (Variety)
Basically, the only way to be considered seriously and get funded for a major production is if your cast is all white. It may also help if you as a director/producer are also white. Major points if the story you’re trying to tell can somehow translate to the white struggle. In the case of Exodus, the struggle is about power, so I definitely see how that can be turned into a white narrative. The same rules apply if you want to get any attention from the Academy. If you want to tell a story about anything else, though, you may have a chance at running in the Foreign Language Film category as long as you’re foreign enough. But does the average American consumer care about this category? No. The answer is no. The only stories that matter are stories about white people.
It’s hard not to think about all the media coverage on police brutality and the frequency in which innocent black people lose their lives to systematic racism. It’s hard not to think about all the immigrant kids from South America that are being treated like pestilent cattle by the American people. It’s hard not to think about the possibility that the public will keep ignoring these and other world issues as long as there are stories about white people overcoming adversity. Ethnic stories are not turned into Academy Award winning films because the world only needs white heroes.
Shout out to Alejandro González Iñárritu for his nomination in the Directing category. He makes me feel validated about going to film school and thinking that my point of view also matters. Shout out to Selma for telling a story that makes white people feel uncomfortable. Feeling comfortable with oppression and racism is never okay. Shout out to Wild Tales and Timbuktu for bringing diversity to the Foreign Language Film category. I hope that one day diversity is celebrated across all categories. Until then, the Academy Awards are for white people, and you’re not invited.
A little more than a year ago I was sitting on a fancy desk at a fancy production company in West Hollywood, sipping on a diet coke, waiting on instructions from my bosses. Yes, bosses. When you’re an intern in LA, you work for everyone at the office. It was actually kind of cool though- they each have a random task for you, something that needs your very specific set of skills to be done properly. It can go anywhere from sweetening a green tea with the right amount of honey to actually doing something that relates to your major and/or life goals. In my case, the most exciting part of working there was reading scripts (and books, occasionally). But like all things in life, there was a dark side to that sort of responsibility. If I didn’t like a script, it would be shred into a million strips I would later have to dump into the recycling, just so we could do it all over again the next day. The assistant that assigned the script to me probably wouldn’t read it if my coverage wasn’t favorable, and that would be the end of that. Executives don’t have time for bad scripts (or books).
It was a bit disheartening. Getting a script through the office (any office) requires a lawyer or an agent, or some sort of magical connection with one of the head development executives. All of that work just to get read and some unpaid, overworked, caffeinated intern gets to be the first reader. On top of that, a relatively good script can get through everyone at the office and ultimately get rejected by the CEO, or the studios, or the investors, wasting thousands of dollars in salaries. On the other hand, part of me always thought: if this idiot can get this shit through us then so can I! I am going to write a shitty script! Every production company works differently, though, so what do I know? I have not sold a script to Hollywood yet. I wouldn’t be writing this blog if I did. However, as a former Hollywood intern and aspiring screenwriter, I’d like to give you some advice on storytelling. I took some screenwriting classes in college too, so I’m not like a total noob, ok? Also, I’d like to know your thoughts. Do you have any good advice for other lost souls like me?
1. Avoid cliched personality traits
I am going to explain this one through the example of Mama. It was a wonderful horror film by Guillermo del Toro and honestly the scariest thing I’ve watched since I overcame my fear of zombies. The stepmom figure in the story is this rocker chick that basically struggles to settle into a domestic lifestyle. She has the jet black hair (which I think was actually fake) and everything. She does really cliche rocker chick things like get excited when a pregnancy test comes out negative and refusing to leave music and performing on stage to become a full-time stepmom. Anyway, the whole point is that her entire existence was so boring and predictable that I almost didn’t even care if she died halfway through the film. A lot of scripts that are circulating right now have the most cliched characters ever. Remember that people have dimensions. Labels are so 2000.
2. Resist the urge to write stereotypically ethnic characters
This is kinda like the former one except this one particularly deals with race and ethnicity. Not all Latinos live in bad neighborhoods, get involved with cartels and remain illiterate. Not all Asian people are smart or kung fu warriors. And not all black people are sassy or violent criminals. Also not all white people are rich and fabulous. Come on! I lose a little bit of faith in humanity every time I see a film that is evidently trying really hard to diversify and then one of their ethnic character speaks. It’s like not even humorous.
3. Stop trying to write the next Twilight
It is not going to happen. So The Hunger Games came out after Twilight and became a massive success… I get it. I was surprised too until I actually read the book, honestly a much better reading material than the story of Bella Swan. Young Adult literature blew up for like a hot second and I understand why the studios thought this was the direction the market was heading. They were so wrong though. Beautiful Creatures was a total flop and nobody had anything nice to say about The Host, whichalso happens to be written by Stephanie Meyer. This genre is basically dead. The market is already saturated with things like Teen Wolf and Vampire Diaries anyway, so just stop. Instead, you should try to…
4. Adapt something everyone loves
There’s a million pop culture things out there that movies could be made out of right now. From video games (Mario Bros reboot or the Legend of Zelda) to erotic fan fiction (50 Shades of Gray) and unexpected sequels (Life Size 2), everyone loves a good adaptation. Just find the most popular thing out there and write a cool story about it. Seriously. The more you can package this shit and merchandise it the better. In case you weren’t aware, The Lego Movie is coming out soon. I swear to you this is totally possible!
5. Ask yourself this very important question “Why would anyone care about my story?”
It’s simple. Why would anyone care about your story? Not trying to be an a-hole here. I’m just saying that if you want people to buy your script and invest thousands if not millions of dollars turning your words into moving images then you need to consider the importance of the message you’re trying to send out. I read so many bullshit stories about basically nothing over time I’m never going to get back. Time I wasn’t even paid for. How dare you waste my time? Anyone’s time! This rule also applies to sequels and adaptations. Think about it. Does the world really need Life Size 2? Yes, yes it does. Do we need a PacMan movie? Perhaps not. I dare you to write a badass female character and not cast Jennifer Lawrence in it. I dare you to write a queer character whose identity isn’t defined by the partners ze takes to bed. I dare you to stop writing the same Rachel McAdams rom com over and over. I’m so bored with movies right now that I need to wait for award season to tell me what to watch. Judge me. Judge me all you want.
666. Sell your soul to the devil
Because like I said before, I have no idea how to sell a script to Hollywood. Getting a script to an executive’s desk requires representation. Getting represented requires experience and recognition. Getting recognition requires you to write something great. Experience is up to you. So get to writing! The best thing you could do to exercise your skills is to write every day. Maybe get a writing buddy and exchange scripts and other things. Chances are they’re probably too caught up with their own ideas and need a little break from their heads. That and you never really know where/when your next great idea is going to come from. Not that you should steal anyone’s ideas. Also I hope I’m not ripping someone off by saying that other thing.
BTW. I’m really sorry for all those scripts I had to shred. I promise it wasn’t personal and I hope the writing gods don’t hold this against me. I’ve had serious nightmares about this. Some kid who is now in high school (that means born right before 2000) and doesn’t even know what his/her future is going to look like ends up going to film school, finding an internship, reading my script and tossing in the trash. It’s called karma.
Because life is an act of balancing forces, 2013 also brought us a bunch of seriously wtf moments… These are just some of them:
1. Blurred Lines?
This song was almost impossible to escape throughout most of the summer. DJs across America and parts of Europe literally could not have one night without this song on their set. People loved it. It was catchy as hell and had Pharrell going “hey hey hey” in it. The music video dropped at some point and was supposed to resemble a trendy Terry Richardson photo shoot. Terry is notorious for having girls get naked for him and show lots of tit, so the video had three models showing some tit. Long story short, America totally FREAKED THE F OUT when this happened. Feminist groups condemned Thicke for objectifying women and promoting rape. Because he’s the very first male ever to objectify women in the music industry and clearly has a rape agenda. Also because models posing in the nude is absolutely unheard of and totally out of control. Let’s watch the video and refresh our memories…
Ahh, yes. I remember now. It was the lyrics. The “I know you want it” part. As it turns out women don’t always want the D. Some of them want the V. Some of them only want the D when THEY want the D and not when men want their D’s wanted. In other words, just because you have a D doesn’t mean someone will want it 24/7. This means that No means No. This also means that you shouldn’t just send unsolicited pictures of your D and expect attention, you thirsty boy. Unless the words “I want the D” are said, it should be safe to assume that she or he ain’t asking for it.
2. Justin Bieber Retiring/Hiatus
This was obviously some sort of sick, perverted joke. There is just no way in hell this is happening. T’was the night before Christmas and all the children were asleep, waiting for white Santa to come down their chimney and deliver Gold iPhone 5Ss and Xbox Ones (not PS4s tho). It was a day like any other in the Twitterverse when all of a sudden Justin Bieber posted the following tweet:
His new album, Journals, had literally just dropped and his movie was going to premier the next day. This tweet obvs made no sense whatsoever. “Justin’s not retiring lol this can’t actually happen” @LOHANTHONY said. And he was absolutely right. Justin cannot leave us just like that. I believe his manager stepped in and confirmed that Justin’s tweet meant that he was just going on hiatus for a lil bit. I know. We’re all still really sad about this news. In the meantime, though, we have a movie to watch!
3. Public Shaming of Amanda Bynes’ Breakdown
This was a very sad sad moment in pop culture. It’s one thing to write about all the crazy shit that Miley and Kanye West are doing on stage because what they’re doing is controlled chaos, but it’s a whole other thing to write about the “crazy” shit Amanda Bynes was doing offstage simply because what she was doing wasn’t planned. It was actually a public cry for help. What happens with celebrity culture is that we totally forget that our favorite idols are also human beings with personal lives. The media sort of just likes to mix work and personal matters into one easy-to-digest endless stream of gossip and half-news. It gets to a point where people just don’t know when to stop. It’s been a few months now that Amanda has been completely off the radar. She was officially 5150’d and put under custody until she got better. I read she’s looking into colleges now. No more daydreaming of becoming a rapper. Here’s a video of some drag queens tryna get cute and throw a little bit of shade at Amanda just for the sake of attention and a few laughs from sassy gays.
4. Government Shutdown
This is probably the one event in American history that not even the best writers the GOP can buy will be able to alter on any academic textbook henceforth. There is just no way any of us millennials is going to forget the day America shut down because a bunch of old rich dudes in Congress could not come to an agreement and DO THEIR DAMN JOB. And they call us lazy and entitled. HA! Nice one, American boomers in Congress. Thanks for making it publicly known that you don’t know how to run our country. Now would you please stop pretending that universal healthcare is evil? It helps people stay healthy and alive! Don’t you want the people you serve, that pay your wages, to stay healthy and alive? You don’t? Oh…
5. Paula Deen N-Word Scandal
I’m pretty sure this scandal made one of my best friends quit PR. I’m not even joking. I mean, how could you believe in PR after this? After the BP scandal? We live in a world of liars and bigots! I don’t personally know Paula Deen and tbh I’ve never seen any of her cooking shows or anything like that. We all know who she is because there is enough money behind her and that’s pretty much it. Some of us like to eat healthy and don’t want to die at age 30 bc of high cholesterol. But we’re here to talk about Paula using the N-word, not butter. It was kind of a big deal because she also wanted to throw a party and have black servants. Also it’s 2013. Of course she’s got a lot of support behind her. Some people say she’s being crucified. Because, you know, she is like the Christ in the sense that she feeds people, and gluttony is not a sin in this country. She actually lost a bunch of gigs because of this, but her money is still intact. I don’t personally feel bad for her. Do you? I mean she apologized… look at her!
6. Mayor of Toronto Smokes Crack
And he has plenty to eat at home… This is the mayor of Toronto.
I do not live in Canada, and I did not know who this person was before the media decided to publicly ridicule him. The whole story is just so bizarre because the guy seems to be some sort of local hero in Justin Bieberland. To my knowledge, he still has not been sanctioned or faced any sort of disciplinary measures. Man, if he was anything but white (and in America) you best believe his ass would be out of power and in jail by now. Gone. Adios con los crackheads! We can’t have druggies running the world. We simply can’t! What’s happening here, Canada?!
7. Internet Memes
The Harlem Shake: They say you shouldn’t spend a lot of time and energy on things that upset you and don’t elevate you as a person. I really tried to do this when the Harlem Shake came out. I really did. I’d mock it, make fun of people who were into it, and I would unfollow/unfriend anyone who posted it or reenacted it. There was no escaping it. The ubiquitousness of this Internet Meme is probably the thing that made me hate it the most. I enjoyed Azealia Banks rapping over the track and starting some drama over at Mad Decent, but I really wished this thing would just disappear from the face of the planet completely. It didn’t.
What Does the Fox Say?: I literally did not even have time in my life for this one. At all. I don’t even know what it is. I just know that I hate it.
8. Gay Hate
We may be a little bit closer to achieving full marriage equality in America, but there are still parts of the world where being gay can pretty much cost you your life. Valdimir Putin, the president of Russia, has instituted a ban on gay propaganda and “all public displays of homosexuality.” I’m sure that means you can’t kiss your same-sex partner in public, but I’m not sure if you can still “dress gay” or “eat gay” or “breathe gay.” But you wanna know what’s truly awesome about the president of Russia? He was nominated for a Nobel Peace Price this year.
Back in US soil, we have that Duck Dynasty guy to deal with. He said some pretty messed up things about homosexuals and the lives of black people during the Jim Crow Laws era. He got suspended from A&E for having said such horrible things and once again people started playing the victim game. “He’s a victim,” they said. “The poor man has done nothing wrong” said a lost soul. What about all the gay kids that get beat up and commit suicide everyday because of guys like Phil Robertson? They didn’t do anything wrong. Who are the real victims here? Phil Robertson can go back to his normal life pre-fame and shoot ducks and hate on gays all he damn wants. A&E does not owe him a platform to spread hate and misinformation!
9. Cory Monteith Dies of Heroin and Alcohol Overdose
Seriously. WTF. This guy was so young and had so much going for him that it’s kinda hard to wrap our minds around this. Is literally no one happy anymore? If fame and success doesn’t give you the ultimate high, what will? No one really knows what was going on in his personal life other than the people directly in it, so it’s easy for us to judge from afar and condemn his decision to call it quits. Overdoses are rarely accidents. Something deeper was happening and we all missed it. But how could we all miss it? He was constantly on television and magazines and Facebook feeds! Cory’s memory won’t fade away easily. His early departure from this world remind us just how fragile and uncertain life can be. He will be missed.
10. Breaking Bad Comes to an End
And while we’re on the subject of loss… Breaking Bad finally aired the last 8 episodes of Season 5. It’s over. It really is. I know what you’re thinking…
Same, Aaron Paul. Same. To be quite honest with you I did not start watching the series when it first came out. My best friend got me into it during one of those long college winter breaks that are absolutely ruined by TV hiatus. I think I watched seasons 1-3 all over the course of 3 days. Not even kidding. Eventually, I became one of those people that gets really excited to be home every Sunday night just because new Breaking Bad. But it’s gone now. There will be no more episodes. Everyone is dead. Everyone always dies. Everything good always ends. Life is so hard! At least… at least there’s this hilarious SNL sketch about the future of the meth industry. Maybe AMC will get ideas for a spinoff? Please?
Make sure you check out OMG YASSS 2013 for a list of our favorite things and moments this year!
A lot of crazy went down in 2013. Here’s a list of Dirty Cult’s favorite things and moments. In no particular order…
1. Beyoncé’s Surprise Album
The internet almost broke when this happened. Some of us were barely recovering from Scandal‘s mid-season finale shocker on Friday the 13th eve when all of a sudden this gift from the industry gods appeared on iTunes. Just like that. No promo. No leading single. At the time, all you could get was the ‘Visual Album’ bundle that included 14 songs and 17 videos. Individual tracks became available on Dec 20th, and the album is being physically sold at multiple retail stores (except Target and Amazon, I think). Yoncé’s 5th studio album has already sold more than 1 million copies worldwide. No other pop star can say that this year. This album is quite different from anything she’s released so far. It’s not just a dance album this time. She talks about feminism and drunk sex with Jay-Z and feeling a little “Jealous” sometimes. It’s pretty raw. You should give it an actual listen. Iz good. Watch this video for one my fave songs in the album, “Drunk in Love.”
2. Miley Cyrus 2.0
This girl got a lot of attention in 2013, both good and bad. It all started with the summer release of her first single off Bangerz, ‘We Can’t Stop.’ People were super upset because homegirl used African-American back-up dancers in her music video. You’d think inclusion in 2013 would be widely accepted, but apparently it really only suggests cultural appropriation, and that’s a terrible thing to do. Then she got naked and rode a ‘Wrecking Ball’ and made out with a sledgehammer to announce to the world that she had, indeed, broken her engagement with Liam Hemsworth. Terry Richardson took a bunch of mildly pornographic pictures of her. She held Arizona purple drank in one of them. Bangerz dropped and became #1 almost everywhere, which made Lady Gaga and Katy Perry consider early retirement. She blurred all the lines at the VMA’s and sparked multiple conversations about double standards, feminism, and white people’s birthright to twerk. Sinead O’Connor sent unsolicited advice, but Miley was not into it at all and things got kinda nasty. Miley also got nominated for Person of the Year by TIME magazine, but she didn’t win. The pope did because the world needs a hero. But anyway, we can’t deny that 2013 was a big year for her. And the world loved every minute of it.
3. Supreme Court Overturns DOMA and Prop 8
The LGBTQA community had a few major wins this year too. This past June the U.S. Supreme Court finally realized that banning sex-same marriage is unconstitutional. After their amazing discovery, they voted to finally overturn the Defense of Marriage Act, the infamous bill that has kept so many people from being unhappily married. Prop 8 was also struck down that day. We’re all very proud of you, Cali. Just stop taking steps back and all will be well.
In other related news… Utah, one of the most conservative states in the universe, has now made it legal for people of all sexual orientations to get married too! Go, Utah! Special shout out to Illinois for also doing this (although we’re not as surprised). Are you taking note, Texas?
Also, The Satanic Temple performed a “Pink Mass” over the grave of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps Jr.’s mother, an act that’s supposed to turn her corpse (and soul?) gay. Read more about it HERE. Marriage for everyone!
4. Sky Ferreira Gets Arrested for Heroin
Everyone loves a juicy scandal every now and then, but no one thought that this would be the way that Sky Ferreira would debut as a pop star in 2013. It was quite iconic actually. She was with her boyfriend, that guy from DIIV, when it happened. They both were found guilty of carrying idk how many hits of heroin. Sky says it was one of those “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time” type of things, but whatever. She spent the rest of her time this year promoting her Ghost EP, finalizing her debut album, Night Time My Time, and touring with Vampire Weekend, though she had to cancel a few shows because she got sick at some point. Anyway, she totes landed a gig as Miley’s opening act during next year’s Bangerz tour! I’m so turnt up y’all don’t even know. Girl has been working really hard for a really long time, and so it does kinda suck that this single act directed so much negative attention towards her. On the bright side, she got her name out there and did fairly well selling records. We’re gonna miss her blond hair so much though.
5. War on Christmas
TV news are totally bananas. I don’t know how people still watch them and consider that stuff ‘fact.’ Like I truly worry for the future of America. What is the ‘War on Christmas’? you ask… Well, it must be the liberals, muslims, Jews and atheists all conspiring together to ruin Christmas for CNN anchorwomen, and children that watch CNN (or was it FOX?). It all started with a few corporations upgrading their seasonal ads by replacing the word Christmas with the word Holidays, but things have gotten so out of hand lately that people are beginning to challenge Jesus and Santa’s whiteness! The nerve! What’s next? Christmas during summer? We’re looking at you, Australia! Stop trying to convince us that having a blast at the beach is somehow better than shopping aimlessly in subzero weather. It’s not going to happen. Watch this CNN lady freak out about America’s demise:
6. American Horror Story: Coven
This new season of AHS is full of wonderful. All the girls from the previous seasons (except for the mom from S1) come back for this new chapter. Emma Roberts joins them playing Madison Montgomery, a spoiled Hollywood starlet bitch from hell. We live for her. Gabourey Sibide and Kathy Bates are in it too. So guud. As you should know by now, this season is about a group of young witches in New Orleans that are just not getting along with the Voodoo people. Some sort of ancient grudge or something. There’s also a witch hunt happening, but we’re more interested in finding out who the next Supreme will be. We’ll have to wait a few more weeks for the second half of the season to start, but in the meantime you seriously need to catch up. You’ll love it too.
7. Lorde’s Debut
She’s only like 17 years-old, but she’s already a lot more successful that most millennial babies. I’m sure you’ve heard her super smash hit single “Royals.” It’s nominated for a Grammy. I love how she ironically became pop royalty with it. She’s like the Katniss of pop stars. I wonder if this is the kinda buzz she says she craves. Lorde’s debut album, Pure Heroine, is really short but really solid, but I wouldn’t pay $30-$85 to see a 30 minute set at some fancy music venue. How come she didn’t play any of those $15-$20 shows at cute but important and smaller places? I guess no one will ever know. Lorde thought it’d be cute to release a “secret” single on the same night as Beyoncé, but it probably wash’t the smartest move even though the track is actually pretty cool. Haven’t heard it? Here it is:
8. The Year of Comebacks:
Justin Timberlake/N’SYNC: He released TWO albums and invited all his friends to perform with him at the VMA’s. It was super heartwarming.
Avril Lavigne: Yeah, she married Chad Kroeger, but don’t hold it against her! She’s still super rock and roll and hew new self-titled album is actually not terrible.
Daft Punk: They teased the shit out of us during the Spring, but they eventually released the best Summer jam ever and a super funky new album. Well done.
Panic! at the Disco: LOL. So many feels. 15-year-old me is really happy about this.
Fall Out Boy: They literally burned their old identity and came back with a new sound/brand. Still not sure how it makes me feel.
Cher: The queen of all queens is back and working with my favorite drag queens. YASSS mama!
Pharrell: He engineered most of your favorite songs this year. He’s timeless and cool.
David Bowie: I don’t think people were satisfied with his new material, but his aging fans are always super supportive.
9. Liam Payne’s Almost Nudes
So, this happened…
He must have gone through puberty this year or something bc omg. You really need to go on Tumblr and search for #LIAM2013 pictures like now.
Honorary Mentions: Dylan Sprouse’s leaked nudes on Twitter & Alexander Skarsgard going full frontal on True Blood.
10. Bound 3
Kanye West made a super awkward video with his baby mama, Kim Kardashian, for the single “Bound 2,” one of the tracks on Yeezus. Kim makes weird faces and Kanye rides her and his motorcycle through a fake desert. I know, right? Super awkward. But don’t worry! There is a cure for that sort of trauma. It’s called “Bound 3,” and it’s basically a shot-by-shot reenactment by Seth Rogen and James Franco. Mindy Kaling calls it “THE post Thanksgiving gather-the family-round-the-laptop viewing.” They do all the same weird shit, but like not for realskies. It’s so so good.
Make sure you check out #WTF2013 for a list of our least favorite things and moments this year!
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